I wrote this last year after a co-worker made a comment about me behind my back.
Sooooooooo, I’ve graduated college. I’m 23. I’m in the “real world.” I used to be teased for not being “black enough” in elementary, middle and early high school, but I thought I was over that accusation. In college I managed to avoid it. But does it ever go away?
One of my white co-workers told me another black co-worker said, (about me, in my own office once I left the room): “She don’t act black.”
Mind you, this black co-worker rubbed me the wrong way from day one because she was always gossiping, so I’ve purposely distanced myself away from her. She was also the same woman who kept asking me what else I was besides black. I have learned over the years not to trust people who are overly concerned with my race or ethnic background, particularly if they’re black themselves.
My dislike for her has nothing to do with her being black. One of my first friends at my job was black, but she left the company. I would never distance myself from fellow black officemates simply because of the color of their skin . . .but I also won’t be someone’s friend just because of the color of their skin.
This is making me angry, even though I thought I was over the people trying to tell me who I am and who I’m not bullshit. It’s bringing up old emotions that I forgot I could feel. I am black. Maybe I don’t talk like you. Maybe I don’t act like you. Maybe I don’t look like you, but I am black, too. And what kills me is that if I claim to not care about race or admit my non-black heritage, then it further proves their point that I’m “not black enough.” What gives?
Why do black girls do this to each other?
Perhaps it’s because of our own insecurities. It’s not my ultimate goal, nor would it serve any personal purpose for me at this point in my life, to figure out WHY they say such things without reverence to someone of their OWN color or regard as to WHAT they’re actually insinuating. Black does not equal ghetto/ebonics/the ‘hood. Seriously. That is so disrespectful. Way to perpetuate stereotypes.
HOW DOES A BLACK PERSON HAVE TO TALK?
HOW DO THEY HAVE TO ACT?
WHAT MUSIC ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO?
Sorry, but I must have missed that day of school where we were taught all of these essential guidelines for being born with brown skin. Please enlighten me.
What would you do?
Here are five situations where blatant and covert racism may or may not be present. How would you respond to the following situations?
Situation #1: Black People’s Homes
You are in a different room and you hear your boyfriend’s father say, “Black people’s homes NEVER look like this!”
The whole room explodes calling your boyfriend’s father racist. You are not sure what the context is, but then remember seeing a Country Home magazine in the living room. “Black people don’t decorate their homes like this!” Apparently there is a picture of a black family in a very Southern-style country decorated room.
Your boyfriend’s mother says, “____, how many black homes have you even been in?”
He answers, “Three.” Goes on to name those three. Then he adds (or maybe Uncle adds . . .), “They were not decorated like this. They were very neat and clean, way cleaner and neater than ours, but not decorated like this?”
How would you respond?
Situation #2: Dark Meat
You overhear your boyfriend’s young cousins and friends talking about dark soda. Again, you are in another room.
“I don’t like dark sodas,” one male cousin’s girlfriend says.
“Do you like dark meat?” A male cousin’s friend asks.
“Ew! No! Um, obviously my boyfriend is right there and he’s white!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHA! That doesn’t mean anything . . .”
“Well, I don’t like dark meat,” she reassures him.
How would you respond?
Situation #3: The N Word
A co-worker and you decide to go out to dinner. On the way there, after your co-worker is close to ONE HOUR late, she says, “There was so much traffic up in this n***er!”
The comment is both racist, incoherent and untrue.
How would you respond?
Situation #4: Preferences
The same female co-worker described in the above situation later talks about a black male co-worker who she finds attractive. She says he always flirts with her. You encourage her to try dating him.
“You know, I don’t usually like black guys! But he’s cute and I bet he has a huge d**k. He’s really nice to me. I would work it out, if you know what I mean. But usually, you know, black guys like me because I’m bigger. You know how black guys like big girls, hehehehe, so I mean, usually I’m not interested, but he’s cute! I like him!”
How would you respond?
Situation #5: Ebonics
You’re twelve and hanging out over your new best friend’s house who is white. You and another classmate, who is also black are playing. Her cute older brother comes in. Your other black classmate starts verbally jabbing with him.
She says, “I asked you a question!”
He replies, “You AXED me a question? Sorry, I don’t speak Ebonics! I thought it smelled like burnt hair in here . . .”
How would you respond?